This is just for laughs. But it does sound very true.

John F. Di Leo.

…”Overheard in a Delaware Basement:

“Good evening, sir. I’m here with your soup.”

“Oh, goody! What is it tonight?”

“I don’t know. Let’s see… oh, looks like cream of mushroom, or something like that. Cream of something.”

“You usually know your stuff, son, what’s going on?”

“Oh, never mind, sir. No reason to trouble you about it, sir.”

“I’m a politician, son, it’s no trouble at all, pretending to care about another man’s problems. Go ahead and tell me what’s going on while I eat my soup.”

“Oh. Okay then. Here’s your soup, sir.”

“So what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much. You just cost me a hundred bucks today, sir, that’s all.”

“Huh? How?”

“Well, I got home last night, and my dad showed me his phone. He had snapped a photo at the gas station on his way home.”

“So?”

“So my dad and I made a hundred dollar bet on New Year’s Day, that if you were inaugurated, the prices at the pump would be up fifty cents a gallon within a month. He chuckled as he took my money, because it only took a week.”

“I don’t think fathers and sons should bet against each other, young man…”

“Well, I don’t think I should’ve lost it so fast, so we’re even.”

“Huh? What do you mean? This is good soup, by the way. Glad they remembered the crackers.”

“You promised you wouldn’t end fracking. You promised them in Pennsylvania. You promised you wouldn’t adopt the green new deal agenda.”

“Right. So what?”

“Well, everything you’ve done since you got in has been the green new deal agenda!”

“I guess so. So what?”

“Well… don’t you regret the inconsistency? Doesn’t it bother you that you’re breaking promises all over the place?”

“Now, son, let me tell you about politics. See, when you start out in politics, you often have to make promises. You align yourself with one side, and then you make promises to that one side. Do you know what that does?”

“No, sir, what does it do?”

“It guarantees that you won’t get any votes from the OTHER side, that’s what it does!”

“But, that’s how politics works, there’s no way out of that, sir!”

“Sure there is! Just make promises to both sides! See, once you promise everything to everybody, you can’t lose. Everybody votes for you, and no matter what you do when you get in, you’re keeping your promises.”

“But, you’re BREAKING your promises to others!”

“Ah, that doesn’t matter. Nobody notices when you make promises to both sides. There’s only one thing that really counts.”

“What’s that, sir?”

“That you get in. As long as you get in, nothing else matters.”

“But sir, one set of policies is right, and one set is wrong! One set will solve the problems, and the other set will make them worse. Don’t you feel an obligation to support the better side?”

“Did they pay me more?”

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Did the better side pay me more, son? If they didn’t, then the hell with ’em.”

“Heaven help us…”

“What’s that, boy? What’s the big deal?”

“My dad told me. He said you’d do whatever AOC told you to do, and I didn’t believe it.”

“AOC? Who’s AOC?”

“The congresswoman from New York. You know, the cute one with the big teeth?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s cute when she’s mad.”

“Yes, sir, I suppose so. And she’s always mad.”

“Heh heh, I suppose so. It’s fun watching her get upset. You know, I don’t think she’s very bright.”

“Umm… sir, umm… YOU don’t think AOC is very bright?”

“Well… don’t tell her I said so, of course… heh heh… or if you do, tell her in a foreign language, so she doesn’t understand it. Heh heh… that may not be necessary. Odds are she won’t understand it anyway.”

“Well sir, there’s just something I don’t understand. Why all this any oil stuff right away? Closing the Keystone Pipeline, banning oil drilling on federal lands, mandating that the federal government buy fleets of overpriced useless electric vehicles… Why, sir? I don’t get it! You have TONS of voters who work in the energy sector. Don’t you need to look out for them?”

“Voters?”

“Yes, you won states with lots of oil drilling, and regular car manufacturing, and natural gas collection, and coal mining… and you’re just attacking all of those voters day after day, sir, punching them in the gut with every executive order you sign! Don’t you care about these voters, at least?”

“Voters?”

“Well, yes, sir, don’t you care about these groups of voters, sir?”

“We don’t have to care about voters, anymore young man.”

“I don’t understand, sir, what do you mean?”

“Oh, let’s just say, in the words of a certain wise old butcher from Georgia, it really doesn’t matter who votes… all that matters is who COUNTS the votes.”

“Umm, oh dear. Sir, do you mean… when the Republicans say you didn’t really win, everything was just fixed, then they’re…”

“Boy, this is good soup, son. Run back upstairs and get me another bowl, would you? Oh, and crackers too. Don’t forget the crackers. And I’d love a clean spoon, while you’re at it…”

“Ohhhhh… I guess so, sir. Be back in a minute, sir.”

“Thanks, son.”…

end of tape.

John F Di Leo

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